Episodes 36-40
Rag Week
EPISODE 36
Scenario: Charity's Kitchen. 11am. Miles is working on a spell
on the hob, as they don't have lectures until later.
1. FX Radio introduction Music
2. RADIO ANNOUNCER Radio announcer introduces Rag week, advertising
that they are raising money for blood transfusion machine and
the events they have planned, e.g. Slave Sale on Tuesday Bar
Crawl on Thursday. He also says that the rag girls will be collecting
all over campus for the day if you want to join.
But now, here's one for the girls, its Cyndi Lauper with 'Girls
Just Wanna Have Fun'… Fade in Music
3. MILES Mix it left,
Mix it right,
Make the potion… oh (frustrated)
4. SPOT Radio gets switched off abruptly. Sounds of bubbling
potion as Miles works on his spell.
5. CHARITY Hey! I was listening to that Miles.
6. MILES Sorry, I need to concentrate. This bits really tricky.
Add just a little…
7. FX Sound of an ingredient being put into the potion and
a fizzing reaction. Throughout the scene we hear Miles and Charity
stirring the potion and working on it.
8. CHARITY Are you sure that's right? Shouldn't you put…
9. MILES (Interrupting) That's it! I think I'm nearly there…
10. CHARITY Shall we join up for this Rag thing?
11. MILES Pardon? Can you pass me that crow's toe?
12. SPOT Throughout the next few lines, the spot SFX are building
up to the final bang.
13. CHARITY This Rag week thing. I think it could be really
fun.
14. MILES Fun? Huh! (Uninterested) I'd rather just keep working
on this spell.
15. CHARITY Well, I think it would be cool to do something
different for a change. I'm bored of magic.
16. MILES Right, is that crows toe ready? Drop it in.
17. CHARITY Ok, here goes…
18. SPOT Sound of crow's toe plopping into the potion.
19. FX More fizzing, building up into a big bang, and then
a comedy pop.
20. CHARITY Oops.
21. MILES That wasn't meant to happen. Maybe we should have
added that before.
22. CHARITY Hang on, did you say crows toe? Whoops!
23. MILES Chaz… what was that?
24. CHARITY Look, never mind. I'll clear up this mess if you
come with me now to find the rag girls?
25. MILES Oh, but I…
26. CHARITY Come on Milo, don't be scared, they won't bite!
8.1.2
RADIO ANNOUNCER A radio clip which announces that there is
a Give Blood Van on campus and that people should go and give
as much as they can spare.
Monday 8.1.3
Scenario: Outside Eliot College. The Rag Girls are collecting
money in buckets.
1. FX Outside Atmos. Students walking past. Throughout the
scene we hear the sound of money being dropped into buckets and
rag girls saying, 'thanks for your contribution'.
2. SPOT Sound of Lola rattling money her bucket.
3. MOLLY C'mon. Give us your cash. The most generous donations
will buy you a big, smoochy kiss.
4. CHARITY (Approaching) Come on Milo, Come on!
5. MILES (From a distance) I'm coming.
6. SPOT Charity drops some money into the bucket.
7. CHARITY There you go…
8. MOLLY Thanks for your contribution.
9. CHARITY We've been looking for you all over campus. We'd
like to help you out wouldn't we Miles?
10. MILES Well, actually…
11. CHARITY MILES!!!
12. MILES Yes Charity…
13. MOLLY Well sweetie, that's just great. Come to our meeting
tonight at 7. Here… have an 'I love Rag' sticker.
14. SPOT Labels put on Miles and Charity
15. MOLLY And that lovely donation just won you a very special
kiss!
16. CHARITY Oh great! You'd love that wouldn't you Milo (Laughing)
17. MILES W-what? Me? No.
18. MOLLY Sure you would sweetie… Come to Molly
19. SPOT The sound of a big squelchy kiss and Miles squirming.
The girls giggle and lead into applause.
20. MILES Eugh. Yuk.
21. CHARITY (Laughing) I knew you'd enjoy the rag stuff Miles.
22. MILES I never thought kissing could be so disgusting!
23. MOLLY Thank you guys for giving generously! (Giggles)
24. MILES (Leaving) Well, I'm not giving anymore!
8.1.4
Scenario: In the girl's toilet just before a lecture. Lizzette
has just been to the toilet and Tyra is putting on her makeup.
1. FX Sound of being inside the toilets. Throughout the scene
we hear the toilet flushing quietly in the background and running
water/ doors swinging.
2. LIZZETTE So you haven't heard from Chancer at all then?
3. TYRA No Lizzy, I haven't! When I get my hands on him...
4. LIZZETTE You had a great time at the ball. It didn't matter
that Chaz went with you guys.
5. TYRA Hmmmm...
6. LIZZETTE You found that fit bloke and left Miles anyway.
7. SPOT Tyra opening her lipstick pot.
8. TYRA What d'you think of this colour?
9. LIZZETTE That's a nice lippy.
10. TYRA I know. Looks good on me too!
11. SPOT Tyra putting lipstick on.
12. LIZZETTE Ty. Could we go along to that give blood van
thing tomorrow?
13. TYRA What? Are you out of your mind? No way Lizzy!
14. LIZZETTE Oh, why not?
15. TYRA Those little pink plasters you have to wear after?
Would look awful with my new blue sweater!
16. LIZZETTE You don't have to wear it long. It's just, well,
this really cute bloke I know, he's into that sort of thing.
17. TYRA Oh Lizzy, Lizzy, Lizzy, why didn't you say? Does
he have a freaky friend for me to play with too?
18. LIZZETTE (Giggles)
19. FX Nearer sound of the toilet flushing.
8.1.5
Scenario: The Rag meeting. Charity and Miles are sitting at
the back of the hall where it is being held. They are in the
middle of showing some slides.
1. FX Fade in to hall atmos. Sound of slide machine. Rag girl
talking to a large audience in a large echoey hall.
2. FX Sound of applause from the last slide.
2. MOLLY (As if she has been talking for hours) ...so as you
can see, there are many great Rag events for you to get involved
in. This picture here was our farm night for the RSPCA.
3. SFX Sound of slide machine starting up. Audience applause
and the sound of laughter. (Continuing within the atmos of the
next scene)
4. CHARITY (Whispering) Miles, Miles... look at that bunny
costume! (Giggles)
5. CHARITY MILES?!
6. MILES (Dreaming) Huh, huh? Yes of course I'll kiss you
for charity, Charity! Mmmm... (Chuckles)
7. CHARITY Miles! Wake Up! (Nudging him) You've been having
those funny dreams again!
8. MILES (Waking up) Huh, what? Oh, I'm still here.
9. FX Audience applause
10. CHARITY Look at these slides. I should put you in for
this slave sale.
11. MILES (Very frightened) Chaz, I really don't know, I'm
not sure I...
12. CHARITY Only kidding. (Giggles)
13. RAG GIRL ...so as you can see, this year's Rag week could
be fantastic. Sign up everyone. We need as many people as possible.
14. FX Audience applause
15. RAG GIRL (Struggling to shout over the top) Err... thanks
everyone and don't forget to Give Blood, the van is outside the
college.
16. FX Applause ends and the sound of chairs moving and people
leaving.
17. CHARITY We must remember to give blood, Miles.
18. MILES Don't you think that needle might hurt a bit?
19. CHARITY Don't be such a woos.
20. MOLLY (Approaching) Hi guys, it's great to see you.
21. CHARITY Oh hi, look Miles its Molly (Teasing).
22. MILES Great.
23. MOLLY So tasty Milykins, will you be on offer at the slave
sale? A lot of ladies would pay a fortune for a cutie like you!
24. MILES (Embarrased) Errr, Errr...
25. CHARITY Of course he is! He can't wait!
26. MILES But...
27. CHARITY And I'm up for the bar crawl games.
28. MOLLY Great! See you tomorrow Milo! Right, next stop the
blood van with my team!
Rag Week
Tuesday
8.2.1
Scenario: In the Magic Shop. Charity has been collecting money
and bumps into
Miles.
1. FX Sound of the shop door as Charity walks in.
2. CHARITY Hiya, do you sell snake's tongue?
3. SHOP ASSISTANT I'll just have a look dear.
4. MILES Charity! You been collecting money?
5. CHARITY Hey Miles, yeah, look how full my bucket is!
6. SPOT Charity shakes her bucket of money.
7. SHOP ASSISSTANT Sorry madam, we're clean out of them. We've
got scales though.
8. CHARITY Not to worry.
9. MILES I'm just here to get another rat's tooth.
10. SPOT Miles puts the tooth down on the counter. Throughout
the next section we hear the till as the assistant puts the tooth
through.
11. CHARITY It's weird, no other volunteers turned up today.
I'm on my own.
12. MILES Doesn't sound like Molly.
13. CHARITY I know. Sent her a text, but no reply. I hope
she's ok.
14. MILES She'll have a good reason. See you at the charity
slave sale tonight?
15. CHARITY Yeah. You'll fetch an emperor's wage, I'm sure.
16. MILES You've got to bid for me. I think Molly's got her
eye on me.
17. FX The ring of the till as the transaction is finished.
Rag Week
Tuesday
8.2.2
Scenario: Lizzette and Tyra in the Queue for the blood van.
1. FX Outside Atmos. The background sounds of a few other
people queuing also.
2. TYRA I can't believe I let you talk me into this. If I
get blood on my new white (top)…
3. LIZZETTE Look Ty, giving blood is for a good cause. Where
is that bloke?
4. TYRA What bloke?
5. LIZZETTE That one I told you about yesterday - I thought
he'd be here.
6. TYRA Oh yeah, the freaky one.
7. LIZZETTE We're at the front of the queue. Better roll up
your sleeve.
8. TYRA I'm not going to crease this top, it's Armani you
now.
9. NURSE Next Please!
10. LIZZETTE Oooo, I'm up. Hold my coat for me. (Excited)
See you in a mo.
11. SPOT Sound of Lizzette walking into the van and closing
the door.
12. TYRA What am I? Some kind of coat stand? Oh I can't believe
I'm about to do this. Maybe I could just sneak off round the
back…
13. SPOT Door opens abruptly making Tyra jump.
14. TYRA (In breath)
15. LIZZETTE (In a trance) All done. Your turn Tyra. It won't
take long.
16. TYRA Are you ok Liz?
17. LIZZETTE I'm fine. You will be too.
18. NURSE Next? Is that you dear?
19. LIZZETTE I told them it was you who's waiting. Just go
through.
20. TYRA (Entering the blood van) Whatever! All that blood
loss has freaked you out.
21. SPOT Sound of door closing.
22. FX Interior atmos. Sounds of being inside the blood van.
23. TYRA Hello? Is there anybody in here?!
24. TYRA (In breath)
25. BRENTON Hello Tyra. Nice to see you again.
26. TYRA Brenton?!
Rag Week
Tuesday
8.2.3
Scenario: Miles is working on his spell in the lab. Miss Williams
comes in to mark
some papers.
1. FX Interior atmos. Sound of bubbling potion.
2. MILES If I just add a little…
3. SPOT Sound of Miles dropping an ingredient into the potion.
4. MILES Yes, yes - it's working.
5. MS WILLIAMS (Entering) Talking to yourself again Miles?
6. MILES Huh? Oh hi, just working on this week's assignment.
7. MS WILLIAMS Glad to hear it. Don't mind me. I'm just getting
a bit of marking done.
8. MILES …add a little rat's tooth…
9. MS WILLIAMS Err… Miles…
10. SPOT Sound of Miles adding powder. A sizzling noise, then
a bang.
11. MILES Ouch!
12. MS WILLIAMS I was going to tell you.
13. MILES Tell me what?
14. MS WILLIAMS It's not rat's tooth. It's meant to say 'bat's
tooth'. Sorry.
15. MILES Oh, I'll never get it right. I just can't do any…
16. MS WILLIAMS (Interrupting) Wait a minute Miles, what's
that noise?
17. FX Sound of indistinct whispering noises, gradually increasing
in volume over the next few lines.
18. MILES What?
19. MS WILLIAMS (Realising) A Mossip!
20. MILES What are you talking about?
21. MS WILLIAMS Your concoction has summoned a whispering
mossip… it's a spirit thing, talks about secret stuff.
22. MILES Cool. What's it saying?
23. MS WILLIAMS It's a very advanced spell!
24. FX Whispering noise gets louder and starts to make sense.
It repeats 'Tyra in trouble' 'Beware Blood Van'.
25. MILES Tyra? Oh no!
26. MS WILLIAMS What has Tyra been up to now?!
Rag Week
Tuesday
8.2.4
Scenario: In the Vampires Lair. Morpheus is holding a blood
tasting party (Wine
tasting) There is a crowd of Vampires there.
1. FX Vampire tunnel music fading into ABBA music
2. MORPHEUS (Laughing - high on blood) What do you have for
me next minions?
3. FINTON (Approaching) Err, this next one master, is Dan
Hubbard. A rugby player.
4. MORPHEUS Marvellous!
5. FINTON (Proud) He's in the first team.
6. MORPHEUS Full bodied. The best kind. Bring it over.
7. SPOT The blood jar is put on a table in front of Morpheus.
During the next line blood is being put into wine glasses. As
Aurora is approaching the crowd of Vampires react.
8. MORPHEUS You see, my dear Aurora, this boy has real strength.
When I drink his blood, I too will become stronger than ever!
9. AURORA (Excited and giggly, slightly drunk on blood) Oh
master. No need to spit with this one - I'll swallow! (Giggles)
10. MORPHEUS Turn that music off, I shall teach you how to
taste it properly.
11. FX Music off
12. MORPHEUS First we must sniff it.
13. SPOT Sound of them swishing the wine and sniffing it.
14. MORPHEUS Ahhhh. A plasmatic aroma, with just a hint of
cherry.
15. AURORA Smells like blood to me!
16. MORPHEUS (Getting annoyed) Now, for the tasting.
17. SPOT Sound of Aurora guzzling the blood
18. MORPHEUS No, Aurora. You don't drink the blood yet.
19. AURORA (Giggling) All in one too.
20. MORPHEUS This is special blood for me to drink. You may
only taste it my dear.
21. AURORA Sorry master.
22. MORPHEUS I must become stronger than ever, then I will
take over Canterbury! (Evil laugh) Now what do we have next?
23. FX As Tyra is approaching, the crowd react. Cheering,
Whoops etc.
24. BRENTON (Approaching with Tyra - Tyra's muffled screaming
can be heard, she is gagged) Next master we have Tyra. A second
year magic student who came along just begging to be captured.
Rag Week
Tuesday
8.2.5
Scenario: At the slave sale. The night hasn't gone exactly
as planned.
1. FX Sound of a rowdy crowd party.
2. EVIL MOLLY The new total of money raised at this year's
slave sale is £393.59. Hope you have fun with your new
rugby slave.
3. SPOT Sound of rugby player crying and leaving the stage.
4. EVIL MOLLY Get off my stage you wimpering idiot! Ok next
up…
5. MILES (Approaching) Listen Molly, I'm not really up for
this now, it's really not what I expected.
6. EVIL MOLLY Miles Metcalf.
7. FX Crowd are cheering and laughing at Miles
8. EVIL MOLLY Come on you little pipsqueak, you'll make a
great sale.
9. SPOT Sound of a squishy thud as a tomato hits Miles.
10. MILES Ouch! Someone threw a tomato at me.
11. FX Crowd cheer and laugh.
12. EVIL MOLLY He may not look like much, but this geek will
make a great slave to do all your homework.
13. MILES Molly! Why are you being like this? I'm not a…
14. EVIL MOLLY Be quiet.
15. FX Crowd react.
16. EVIL MOLLY Who will start the bidding at one pee?
17. FX Crowd groan.
18. EVIL MOLLY Ok then, I shall bid myself. Sixty Nine Pee!
Top that?!
19. CHARITY (From a distance) Me, me! I'll bid seventy pence.
20. EVIL MOLLY No, no one. Looks like you're almost my toy
for the night Mileykins!
21. CHARITY (Approaching and jumping on stage) I said I would
bid. I'll bid seventy pence for Miles.
22. MILES Charity!
23. EVIL MOLLY Err, can I hear something? No, I don't think
I can. Looks like the sale goes to me. Miles is mine!
End Music
Wednesday
Rag Week
8.3.1
Scenario: In the Vampires Tunnel. Tyra is tied up to the wall
(she has been there all night?)
1. FX Scary Vampire music.
2. MORPHEUS (Approaching) Good Morning my juicy magic student.
3. TYRA (Tied up) Mmmmmm
4. MORPHEUS Now, you've disturbed us all night with your Mmmmmm
noises.
5. BRENTON And we didn't even touch you, Tyra!
6. MORPHEUS So, if we decide to take this itsy bitsy little
gag off, will you keep your mouth shut?
7. TYRA (Agreeing) Mmmmmm
8. MORPHEUS Good. Brenton?!
9. BRENTON Yes Master?
10. MORPHEUS Remove the mask.
11. BRENTON (Removing the mask) If you're sure master…
12. TYRA At last. Do you really expect me to sit with that
thing in my mouth for so long?!
13. BRENTON You never minded before.
14. MORPHEUS Silence! Now, magic girl. Welcome to my tunnel
of doom.
15. TYRA Tunnel of doom? More like a tunnel of stale tuna,
what is that smell?
16. MORPHEUS Look. You are my prisoner, and that means you
have to listen to what I say, or I torture you, is that clear?
17. TYRA Oh blah. I know the deal ok, I've been here before.
Have you not bothered to make me the cage this time? I just can't
stand these manacles.
18. SPOT Rustling of chains.
19. MORPHEUS Who is this Brenton?
20. BRENTON This is Tyra, master, a very valuable second year
student in thaumatology. She has got a bit of a mouth on her
though.
21. MORPHEUS Well, you'll keep quiet while you're down here
girlie, and we'll make sure of that. Bring back the mask.
22. TYRA Noooommmmm…
23. MORPHEUS Brenton, you watch her. I'll be back.
Rag Week
8.3.2
Scenario: Miles is on the phone to Miss Williams. We are with
Miss Williams.
1. FX Miles is down the line.
2. MILES I really need to talk to you professor
3. MS WILLIAMS You've got to tell me now.
4. MILES They were, they were…
5. MS WILLIAMS Miles! Get to my house right away!
8.3.3 - changed scene on my computer
Rag Week
Scenario: Charity is going into the blood van to give blood.
She is unsuspecting after the previous evenings events.
1. FX Interior of give blood van. Bleepy noises of the medical
machine
2. CHARITY Hello! Anyone around?
3. AURORA (Position 2) Hello little girl. Are you here to
give blood?
4. CHARITY Yes, I've not been in the blood van before.
5. AURORA Come in.
6. CHARITY It's very dark in here. Where are (you?)
7. AURORA (Interrupting) Take a seat. Just need a few details.
8. SPOT Charity sits down (Moving into Position 2)
9. AURORA Right, what's your name?
10. CHARITY Charity Carver
11. AURORA What a nice name. And you study?
12. CHARITY Err, thaumatology.
13. FX Vampire music begins in the background
14. AURORA Thaumatology?! Very interesting!
15. CHARITY (Unsure) Yes.
16. AURORA Why don't just relax. Sit back in your chair…
17. CHARITY (Sighing) Ok.
18. AURORA And button your lip magic girl!!
19. FX Scuffle as the Aurora grabs Charity
20. CHARITY Noooooo, get off me. Let go of me!
21. FX Fade into silence
8.3.4
Rag Week
Scenario: Back at Miss Williams' house. Ms Williams has made
Miles a drink to calm him down and they are sitting discussing
matters.
1. MISS WILLIAMS So, let me get this straight. The slave sale
was like a mob, the chess team started wrestling in bar and the
girl's hockey team sang a tribute ABBA concert.
2. MILES Yes Professor.
3. MS WILLIAMS Isn't that normal in the student union?
4. MILES Yes - but - I was almost eaten alive by those rag
girls.
5. MS WILLIAMS I don't want the details Miles.
6. MILES I wouldn't mind if it was someone like Tyra. Even
she's still not been seen since yesterday…
7. MS WILLIAMS Miles! I told you not to discuss that with
anyone.
8. MILES I haven't, I promise. But that spell said 'Tyra in
trouble' and I…
9. MS WILLIAMS I'm sure this situation isn't because of your
magic.
10. MILES Shouldn't we call the police about Ty?
11. MS WILLIAMS I've been onto the magic council. We can only
wait for them to email back. This is not something the police
can help with.
12. MILES I wish Charity was here, we really need her help!
8.3.5
Rag Week
Scenario: Back in the Vampires Give Blood Van. The same scene
as before.
1. FX Sound of the Blood Van
2. CHARITY (Wimpering)
3. AURORA Inject the venom first, Brenton.
4. BRENTON I thought I was supposed to take the blood out.
5. CHARITY What are you doing?
6. AURORA We're just going to take a little blood and give
you a bit of an injection. Now stay still!
7. CHARITY Let go of my arm, you're hurting me!
8. BRENTON I hope you've said goodbye to your geeky little
friends you're not gonna see them for a very long time. (Evil
laugh).
9. CHARITY You'll never get away with this!
10. BRENTON Oh no? Who's gonna stop me!?!
11 FX Sound of smashing window.
12. CHANCER I am!
13. BRENTON Chancer, I ordered you not to come back.
14. CHANCER (Sarcastic) I missed you too much.
15. BRENTON Join our party now you're here. We were just about
to have a slight exchange of body fluids. Morpheus will gain
all this girly's magic power. Now he can have your strength too!
16. CHANCER Sorry to disappoint you mate, but I haven't done
my hair for a party.
17. BRENTON Very funny. I'm afraid you don't have a choice.
18. CHANCER Whatever. Chaz, Duck.
19. FX Sound of a spell being cast.
20. CHANCER This powder I spray will not make you ill,
But stops you from evil,
and now you are still.
21. BRENT AND VAMPS MMMMMMMMMMMMM (They are trying to speak
but can't move.)
22. CHARITY What's happening?
23. CHANCER I've frozen them. The spell won't last long. Let's
get out of here.
24. CHARITY Thanks Chance, you saved me.
25. CHANCER That's ok sweet cheeks - quick out the front door.
26. SPOT Sound of Charity running through the door.
27. CHANCER (Under his breath) Sweetcheeks? Geez. Oh well,
we'll be seeing you soon Brenty! (Makes kissing noise.)
28. BRENTON MMMMMMMMMMM
29. CHANCER (Running off) Ha ha ha ha!
Rag Week
8.3.6
Scenario: Charity and Chancer have been running through campus
together away from the van to go and get help. They end up in
the girls toilets.
1. FX Montage of running and panting effects leading into
a crescendo.
2. SPOT Door closing as they run into the toilets.
3. CHARITY (Out of breath) Can't you wait outside Chance,
I just wanted to, err go to the ladies.
3. CHANCER I don't care, there's something I need to tell
you.
4. CHARITY This loo isn't exactly the best place for a cosy
chat!
5. CHANCER Well, I saw this in a film once. Thought it might
be better than just saying it, so...
6. CHARITY Where did you get that tape player from?
7. CHANCER I brought it with me. Right here goes.
8. SPOT Sound of a tape button being pressed.
9. GRAMS Plays 'Every Little Thing She Does is Magic' by the
Police.
10. CHARITY (During intro music) What are you doing Chancer?
11. CHANCER (Sings the first few lines of the song (Badly!))
12. CHARITY (Laughing) You know the Rag Kareoke was cancelled
don't you?
13. CHANCER (Gets back into the song, he sings to the first
chorus of the song) Every little thing she does is magic.
14. CHARITY That's lovely Chance. If the vampires heard it,
they're sure to let you live, but just in case, don't you think
we should find Miss Williams now?!
15. SPOT Charity turns the tape off.
16. CHANCER Oh but that's just the first verse.
17. CHARITY (Moving off) We don't have time, come on let's
go.
18. FX Sound of the door banging as Charity leaves.
19. CHANCER But, but, but, I need to tell you. I love you.
20. GRAMS Theme music.
Rag Week
Thursday
8.4.1
Scenario: In the Vampires tunnel. Morpheus is trying to call
the Great One.
1. FX Vampire music.
2. MORPHEUS Come to me Oh Great One… Can you hear me
Great One?
3. GREAT ONE Yes, yes, yes Morpheus, I can hear you! You've
been going on for hours.
4. MORPHEUS Oh, sorry Great One.
5. GREAT ONE This had better be good, Morph. Unless I'm here
to be resurrected I'm just not in the mood.
6. MORPHEUS Well, it's not that exactly…
7. GREAT ONE Go on then, but make it quick, I've got a massage
booked in half an hour.
8. MORPHEUS (Very Quickly) You see, I took over a blood van
on campus and have taken lots of blood to strengthen myself for
the big plan (breath). Not only that, but I also injected the
students with venom so I'm controlling all of them and they do
whatever I want. (breath) They're going to become my army, and
I'm going to take over Canterbury and I've captured a magic girl.
(Breath) And that's it.
9. GREAT ONE Good. Well done. Bye.
10. FX Poof as the Great One disappears.
11. MORPHEUS Err, great one? Great One? If you're still there,
can I have my ABBA CD back as well?
Rag Week, Thursday, 8.4.2
Scenario: Miss Williams has just had an email from the council.
1. FX Interior atmos. Sound of computer hum.
2. MS WILLIAMS ... and that's all the magic council's email
says.
3. CHARITY We've waited all night for that?
4. MILES Molly's being controlled by the Head Vampire. That's
the reason she keeps throwing things at my window at night?
5. MS WILLIAMS So it may seem.
6. CHARITY Most of the students on campus gave blood in that
van. They must all be under Morpheus' control!
7. MS WILLIAMS I'm afraid so.
8. CHARITY Maybe that's why Chancer was being so weird.
9. MILES Chancer's back? I hope he apologized for deserting
you at the ball?
10. MS WILLIAMS Vivien? (To herself) He can't have joined
the Vampires.
11. CHARITY Are you kidding? No apology from him!
1
12. MS WILLIAMS We must act quickly. Charity, print off that
email. We must get to work on this ritual as quickly as possible.
13. MILES What can I do professor?
14. MS WILLIAMS I think you should go along to this 'bar crawl'
tonight. Keep an eye on things.
15. MILES Oh no, not me! Can't I do the ritual thingy?
16. MS WILLIAMS 'fraid not. They're obviously unsuspecting
of you. You need to make sure everything goes as normal. The
ritual must be performed before 12 o'clock tomorrow! Let's get
to work.
Thursday
8.4.3
Scenario: In the Vampires' tunnel. Morpheus is torturing her
by making her eat last week's Peanut Butter and Tuna sandwiches.
1. FX Vampire Music and tunnel noises.
2. TYRA (With her mouth full) No more pleease!
3. MORPHEUS What was that my dear? Did you say you didn't
like our sandwiches? Peanut Butter and Tuna. Feed her some more!
4. TYRA N-n-n-no! They're very nice really (coughing)
5. MORPHEUS Okey-dokey. Now, if you promise to be quiet we
won't make you eat anymore.
6. TYRA Ok, ok.
7. MORPHEUS Ok who?
8. TYRA Ok master.
9. MORPHEUS Good. Now, as you know, I am currently transforming
into the most powerful and super-best Vampire in the world.
10. TYRA (Uninterested) Yes.
11. MORPHEUS Eh?
12. TYRA Master.
13. MORPHEUS Right. I want to show you how much power I have.
You remember your little friend Lizzette?
14. TYRA You leave her alone.
15. MORPHEUS I can't do that because she's in my power. She'll
do anything I say.
16. TYRA She'd never do anything for you.
17. MORPHEUS Wanna bet? Does she normally wear her Barbie
pyjamas to the pub, then take advantage of the chess team's best
player?
18. TYRA Lizzette doesn't have Barbie pyjamas.
19. MORPHEUS Oh no? Show the 'you've been framed' video!
20. FX Sound of video screen starting up and playing. Video
plays in the background with Tyra talking over the top. Morpheus
laughs at what he has done
21. LIZZETTE ON VIDEO (In a trance) I look great. Look at
me.
22. MORPHEUS Eugh, that silver lace with those tartan slippers,
a fashion nightmare.
20 VIDEO Sound of people laughing.
21. TYRA What have you done to her?
22. LIZZETTE ON VIDEO You're really attractive. I just wanna
kiss you, my knight (kiss), my bishop (kiss), my king (big kiss)
23. TYRA (Shouting at the video) Don't do it Lizzy.
24. LIZZETTE ON VIDEO Squelchy kissing noises
25. TYRA Nooooooo!
25. MORPHEUS Ok turn it off.
26. FX Video being turned off.
27. TYRA What have you done? Liz was a style queen to so many…
28. MORPHEUS (Smug) You see my dear, she is under my control,
and so are many more of your precious human friends. Soon I will
control everyone. Canterbury will be mine!
29. TYRA Never!
30. MORPHEUS You can still join me. With your magic powers
and my genius, we could make a wonderful team.
31. TYRA No way! You're not a genius, you're a total wacko/
a total mentalist.
33. MORPHEUS Humph. Bring back the trolley! I'm sure we still
have a cheeky stilton and horse-radish left from last week (leaving
- Laughing)
34. TYRA Nooooo!
Thursday
8.4.4
Scenario: The bar crawl. Everyone is quite drunk. It is 11.30pm
and almost time to move onto the venue. Miles hasn't been drinking.
1. FX Bar atmos. No music, just lots of people talking, laughing
etc
2. CHANCER (Drunk) Come on Miley, have a little shot of this
tequilla. Get into the bar crawl spirit!
3. MILES Not tonight Chancer.
4. CHANCER What better than a couple of slammers?
5. MILES In case you didn't notice, Charity was in a pretty
dodgy situation yesterday.
6. CHANCER Duh, I saved her.
7. MILES That's great Chance, but you can't just, do one good
thing and think that makes up for everything.
8. CHANCER What's got up your nose geeky boy?
9. MILES You really upset Charity last week, you just stood
her up with no explanation.
10. CHANCER For your information Miley, I care a lot about
Charity, I think she's the most beautiful girl in the world.
11. MILES You've got a funny way of showing it.
12. EVIL MOLLY People of my bar crawl! It is finally time
for us to move on to the sacred place.
13. CHANCER I wouldn't exactly describe the student union
as that!
14. BAR CRAWL (Started by Molly - Chanting) We must be strong,
we must move on. We must be strong, we must move on. (Continuing)
15. MILES Oh no, Chancer they're doing that weird trancey
thing again.
16. CHANCER It's just a girl thing Miley.
17. MILES It's Miles! And it's not a girl thing, the Vampires
are controlling them.
18. CHANCER Vampires?
19. MILES They're leaving, we'll have to follow them. Oh no,
come on Chancer.
20. EVIL MOLLY (Over the top of the chanting) To the tunnel!
Rag Week
8.5.1
Scenario: Morpheus' army of students are marching down to
the tunnel. It is 12.30am.
1. FX Exterior atmos. The sound of the army chanting while
walking down the path to the tunnel. We are with Chancer and
Miles.
2. MILES (In a panic) …and Tyra's been captured.
3. CHANCER Yeah, yeah.
4. MILES If the ritual doesn't work they'll all become part
of Morpheus' evil army.
5. CHANCER Army?
6. MILES But it's supposed to happen at 12 O'Clock midday.
Not now! I'd better call Miss Williams.
7. FX Sound of Miles dialing on his phone
8. CHANCER If they're going where I think they're going, we're
in trouble.
9. MILES Hello, Professor…
Friday
8.5.2
Scenario: In the Vampires jail. Tyra is tied up and Finton
is watching her, he is writing sandwich labels. Finton is really
bored of listening to Tyra, as he's been watching her for hours.
1. FX Tunnel noises. Dripping sound of the dungeon.
2. TYRA (Winging) ohhhh. I'm really bored. Couldn't you just
loosen these chains an itsy witsy bit so I can brush my hair.
3. FINTON Morpheus said, I wasn't allowed to touch you or
your chain at all.
4. TYRA I wouldn't tell him. Big Boy!
5. FINTON I can't break his rules.
6. TYRA Oh go on, live a little.
7. FINTON Already dead!
8. TYRA Ugh. You'd think you might take a few more risks then.
9. FINTON Look, you're not meant to talk. You'd better stop
or I'll get Morpheus and he'll… he'll…
10. TYRA I need to brush my hair, you corpse! Don't you understand?
Look at me, I can't be a prisoner looking like this.
11. FINTON No-one can see you.
12. TYRA Ugh. I'm bored. (Whistling) Let's play a game.
13. FINTON I'm not sure…
14. TYRA Come on, how about 'I spy'?
15. FINTON Ok.
16. FX Sound of the drip increases in volume
17. TYRA I spy, with my little eye, something beginning with
'D'
18. FX The sound of the army approaching can be heard. The
volume increases as they get closer.
19. FINTON Drip?
20. TYRA Yeeeessss. See isn't this fun?
21. FINTON No. (Calling) Morpheus!
Friday
8.5.3
Scenario: Charity and Miss Williams are preparing the ritual
early after just receiving
Miles' phone call.
1. FX Interior atmos. Magical sounds, such as wind chimes.
2. CHARITY Here's the candle.
3. MS WILLIAMS Put it in the circle with the others.
4. CHARITY Right. What's happened Professor?
5. MS WILLIAMS It's started early. Morpheus is preparing his
army as we speak.
6. CHARITY But we're not ready.
7. MS WILLIAMS We just have to try.
8. CHARITY So where is Milo?
7. MS WILLIAMS He's… he's with them. They're marching
to the tunnel.
8. CHARITY The tunnel?
9. MS WILLIAMS Quick, get in the circle. We must join hands.
Friday
8.5.4
Scenario: In the tunnel. The army has just arrived.
1. FX Cut straight into the sound of the chanting army getting
louder..
2. MORPHEUS Silence.
3. FX The chanting stops. Total silence.
4. MORPHEUS Welcome. Thank you for joining us so promptly.
You have all been chosen to become the most fantastic army that
has ever walked this earth.
5. AURORA Oh master, there's so many of them.
6. MORPHEUS I know my dear.
7. MORPHEUS (Addressing the army) Friends, Vampires, Student-army.
Lend me your teeth. I come to conquer Canterbury and eat all
that stand in my way…
Friday
8.5.5
Scenario: Miss Williams and Charity are commencing the ritual.
1. FX Magical sound effects.
2. MS WILLIAMS (Chant repeated)
We must be strong,
Evil be gone.
3. CHARITY It's not working!
4. MS WILLIAMS Don't break the circle.
5. CHARITY The potion's not ready.
6. MS WILLIAMS Keep hold of my hand Charity. Chant with me.
7. CHAZ+MS WILLIAMS They repeat the chant from above.
8. FX Music Fades up.
Friday
8.5.6
Scenario: Back in the tunnel. Miles and Chancer have found
a ledge away from the army so that they can
watch the action.
1. FX Applause of the army. We are with Miles and Chancer.
2. MORPHEUS We will breed humans as our own cattle and feast
at our own will.
3. FX Crowd reaction.
4. MILES (Terrified) Where on Earth are we Chancer?
5. MORPHEUS Now, let's celebrate. I have blood for everyone!
6. FX Crowd reaction
7. MILES Chancer?
8. CHANCER Miles, I don't want you to panic.
9. MILES I'm at a blood party with an army of… of things
that want to eat me and you don't want me to panic.
10. CHANCER Pretend you're enjoying yourself and crawl behind
me.
11. MILES Ohhhh.
12. MORPHEUS (Toasting) To blood and prosperity.
13. AURORA/BRENT/CROWD Blood and Prosperity!
14. FX Crowd reaction. Fading into the sound of Ms Williams
and Charity's chant, which is heard in a whispery dreamy way,
it gets louder the next lines are said.
15. MS WILLIAMS/CHARITY (Chant as in 8.5.5)
16. MORPHEUS What's that?
17. CHANCER (Stepping forward) That is your failure Morpheus.
18. MORPHEUS (Straining) My boy. How can you point that cross
at me? You're own father?
19. FX The sound of Tyra screaming in the background
20. CHANCER You're not my father! If you move one inch I'll
stake you so fast you won't know what's hit you.
21. TYRA (Calling from the next room) Chancer! It's me Tyra!
I'm through here. Help!
22. FX The sound of the chanting peaks. An exciting magical
sound is heard as the army is transported by the spell to another
time.
Friday
8.5.7
Scenario: All has returned to normal on campus.
1. FX Outdoor atmos. The sounds of a sunny day (e.g. birds
etc)
2. CHARITY So no-one remembers a thing professor.
3. MS WILLIAMS Nope. Not even Miles or Tyra. As soon as they
were transported out of the tunnel I cast a memory loss spell.
Canterbury would be in chaos otherwise.
4. CHARITY And if Tyra had known what she looked like in there,
all covered in Mayonnaise, she would have flipped. (Giggles)
5. MS WILLIAMS You've learnt a lot Charity, you're more powerful
now than ever before.
6. CHARITY Isn't that Chancer over there?
Friday
8.5.8
Scenario: In the tunnel. Morpheus is very angry.
1. FX Tunnel Atmos.
2. BRENTON Have a plasma lozenge master, it will make you
feel better.
3. MORPHEUS How can this have happened?
4. BRENTON It's not your fault master.
5. MORPHEUS Grrr. (Imitating) I'll get you next time, gadget!
6. BRENTON What?
7. MORPHEUS Oh nothing. I just always wanted to say that.
Friday
8.5.9
Scenario: Same as before. Chancer has come over to speak with
Charity.
1. FX Outside Atmos.
2. CHANCER Can I have a word Charity?
3. MS WILLIAMS I think I'd better make myself scarce.
4. CHANCER Do you still remember what I said the other day?
5. CHARITY Yeah, thanks for helping Miles in the tunnel.
6. CHANCER Not that. My song. I know I've messed up in the
past, but I mean it this time.
7. CHARITY Oh Chancer!
8. FX Cheesy, soppy romantic music. Lead into Signature Tune.
END OF EPISODE 40
TO EPISODE
41
Alan Beck is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Non-Commercial-Share Alike 2.0 UK: England & Wales License.
